


Mr. Blue Sky

by eldritchcatpossum (skinsuit)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Typical Horror, Fluff, Humor, Let's get brunchy, LonelyEyes, M/M, Simon to the rescue, let's not forget they are awful monsters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 05:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinsuit/pseuds/eldritchcatpossum
Summary: Simon had really been looking forward to brunch with Elias and Peter. However, this year he can't help but notice they aren't their usual selves, in fact they appear to be on the verge of divorce (again). Simon takes it upon himself to save their relationship and brunch!
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Mr. Blue Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Much thanks to my beta reader Hisshex, to lexiedrawsthings for the image that inspired this to everyone in the EAPodcasts chat for encouragment, Ben Meredith, Alasdair Stuart and Karim Krondfli for their inspiring performances, and to the electric light orchestra for the tune Mr. Blue Sky.

Simon had been looking forward to the thrice yearly brunch with Peter and Elias. It was so rare he got to see them, Peter was a good friend (as far any of them could have friends), Elias was charming and Peter’s husband (most of the time). Furthermore, it was one the best brunch buffets in London proper and he was so looking forward to getting stuck into some scones and maybe a mimosa. He was humming to himself as he approached the table where his friends sat, utterly unaware of the noxious sea of disdain that had ushered the other diners at the buffet to leave a ring of unused tables surrounding the couple . It was just as he almost reached the table that he noticed the attitude of his companions.

Elias was pointedly ignoring Peter, as he pretended to read the newspaper. Peter, who sat at the other end of the table, as far from Elias as possible, was staring into his coffee cup as if hoping the brown liquid would rise up and drown him.

Ah, they must be going through another rough patch. Trouble in paradise, a rift in the lute, stormy weather so to speak. Simon decided he had two courses of action here: he could leave before they saw him, casting himself into the arms and mercy of the vast or he could stay and try to help these two lovebirds smooth out whatever had caused this latest spat.  
The first option was extremely tempting. However, he did so hate to see Peter truly miserable, so he elected to stay. He put on his widest, brightest smile and walked up.  
“Well hullo there! Peter, Elias so nice to see you both again!” He said, taking his seat between them.

Elias raised an eyebrow and looked over his paper, answering in a voice that could make the Arctic feel warm.  
“Good morning Simon.”

Peter looked up from his coffee and nodded.

“I really do like the fact you waited for me before tucking into the buffet and mimosas, however you shouldn’t have. Wouldn’t want you to miss anything.” Simon said.

“I waited,” Peter spat back, voice dripping with contempt. “He already has been up and back for two chocolate croissants.”

Elias lowered the paper and there was a small plate with tell tale crumbs on it. “What Peter neglects to tell you is that croissants are in high demand and if I didn’t get them, I wouldn’t have gotten any at all.”

“No matter,” Simon shrugged. “I’m happy as long there are scones and bacon to be had.”

Peter rolled his eyes, “and Elias says I’m the greedy one.”

“I’m not the one who routinely eats all the leftovers in the fridge.” Elias said. “When he knows that I am intending to take them for lunch the next day.”

“I don’t steal whole tray bakes my employees bring to work, then wonder why I can’t lose weight.” Peter said with a mocking smile. 

“I didn’t send the personal trainer into the lonely,” Elias sneered. 

“She startled me, Elias. If you actually met her for your appointment, I wouldn’t have had too.” Peter said.

“I was working late Peter, do I have to explain again that not all of us can rely on their family for funds.” Elias scowled.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Oh yes, I forgot, you just wait for the alimony cheques from me right?”

“Good thing the divorce papers should be coming through soon then?” Elias said, already back to reading his paper.

Peter went still and returned to looking into the depths of his coffee cup.

Oh this was quite a desperate situation. Simon raised his head, he had let it drop into his hands in despair within seconds of listening to the sometimes-couple argue.  
“Right then, I think we could all do with a drink?”

Elias and Peter ignored him as they continued to sulk. No matter, he knew what they liked. He waved over a waiter and ordered a Breakfast martini (Elias), a Bloody Mary (Peter) and one pitcher of Mimosa (All, but Simon had plans of downing most of it himself). Well, now to get that bacon. There wasn’t much of a line and there was a fresh chafing dish loaded with streaky bacon. He got up and so did Peter.

“Simon, I need your help,” Peter whispered.

“Oh?” So at least Peter wanted to do something about his disaster of a relationship, Simon thought.

“I want an omelette but it means talking to the chef at the omelette station, Elias refuses to order for me like normal. Will you?” Peter asked.

Simon looked over at the omelette chef, laughing with a bright smile as he tossed an omelette high into the air. Yes, just the sort Peter would avoid like his life depended on it.  
“Alright however—“ Simon began.

Peter sighed. “Cheddar, feta, spinach, red peppers, thanks.”

Simon grabbed his arm. “ I’m not ordering until you tell me one thing you still like about Elias.”

Peter sighed deeper, looked at the floor and back at his husband. “His sense of humor.”

“Thank you.” Simon said, he was sure he could work with that. 

Peter brushed past him, absentmindedly picking up the tongs to pull half the bacon tray onto his plate. Simon shook his head, ridiculous man, oh well there was still some bacon to be had.  
He scooped up the remaining pieces of bacon, then piled up a small mound of scones. Did they have kedgeree? No, too much to ask for these days, kippers maybe or deviled kidneys? Yes, he saw some in the chafing dish, ahead.  
He heard a rustle behind him and saw Elias standing there already halfway finished with the chocolate croissant he had just picked up. He was looking over Simon at the deviled kidneys with sharp interest and an empty plate. There were four left, Simon knew he could eat them all, but he felt Elias’s stoney gaze on him.

“You’re not taking all of them are you?” Elias ‘asked’, Simon knew that if he took them all, Elias would steal them straight off his plate the second he looked away.

“I might, I do awfully enjoy a deviled kidney,” Simon shrugged. “I might leave some for you Elias if—“

“—what do you want? I know we had someone come in and give a statement about you… want me to give you their address?” Elias asked impatiently.

“Ye—No, I just want you to say one thing you still like about Peter,” Simon said.

Elias rolled his eyes, looked from the kidneys to Simon, bit his lip and said, “I know what you are trying Simon, it won’t work—“

“Do you want them or not?”

“Fine, I like his hands, they are very large and cold.” Elias sighed irately.

“Excellent!” Simon said as he took two and left the rest for Elias.

Coming up was crepe station and maybe after a mimosa or two he’d feel like a crepe with that gianduja spread. What did they call it these days? Oh yes nutella. But now on to the omelette station true to his word he ordered for Peter. He joked with the omelette chef, discovering that the man was scared of heights, he’d leave him for dessert. He was juggling about four plates when he got back to the table. Thankfully Elias had already picked up the jam caddy and the drinks had arrived, excellent! Pouring himself a mimosa, he watched as Peter picked at his toast, eying the jam that Elias had left on his side of the table. The caddy held four jars, two different jams, a pot of clotted cream and a lurid orange marmalade.

“Elias will you pass the jam?” Peter asked, already semi-resigned to the oncoming refusal.

Elias sipped his cocktail and ignored Peter, smiling to himself.

Peter sighed, “Elias…please pass the jam.”

Elias looked over his newspaper with a smirk and didn’t pass the jam caddy.

Simon nibbled on his bacon between sips of his drink.

“Simon, will you tell Elias to pass the jam?” Peter grumbled.

“Elias, be a good chap and pass the jam,” Simon said.

Elias passed the jam caddy, after he removed the red jam, the purple jam and the clotted cream.

“You know I don’t like marmalade, Elias.” Peter said.

“Well, you said ‘jam’ so I took it you wanted a jar of jam, you didn’t say you wanted clotted cream or which jam.” Elias smirked.

“This is why we are getting a divorce, Elias.” Peter said, frustrated with his petty husband. 

“Now-Now chaps- ,” Simon began.

“—maybe if you paid a bit of attention to me I wouldn’t have to resort to this,” Elias said.

“I’m an avatar of the Lonely Elias,” Peter said, something close to genuine anger bleeding into his tone. “You knew this when you married me.”

“Re-married, I think right? You fellows keep getting married, I mean if you really didn’t like each other you wouldn’t go through this.” Simon pointed out.

Elias resentfully ate his deviled kidneys and Peter looked intently at his unbuttered toast. Simon shaking his head gathered up the jam caddy and put everything back that Elias had emptied. He put the caddy inbetween him and Peter as he spread the clotted cream and red jam (strawberry) on his scones. The purple jam turned out to be black currant, and Peter was making use of it.  
They ate and drank some more.

Elias chuckled to himself at something he read.

“Yes?” Simon asked. “What is it?”

“Oh, just read about a car crash,” Elias said. “It involved a family, Mother, Father and their two children, terrible really. Only the mother survived.”

Peter smiled and gave a laugh. “Oh that’s awful.”

“Is it just? She was a wife and mother before and now she’s neither.” Elias grinned.

Peter grinned wider. “She must be feeling—“

“…lonely…” Elias finished.  
They both chuckled.

Simon cracked a smile.” See this is what I mean,”

Elias stopped smiling and Peter went stone faced.

Elias took a long sip of his drink and Peter had almost finished his Bloody Mary.

“Are you really going to do this Simon?” Elias sighed.

“Yes, both of you are miserable, neither of you really want to divorce again, you know you don’t.” Simon said.

Elias and Peter looked at their plates, the door, Simon before finally looking at each other.

“Oh why not, it's worth a try,” Elias said.

“Very well,” Peter muttered.

“Right-o, so I’ve picked up bits of how to deal with this since the last time,” Simon said.

“You threw a couples’s therapist into the Vast did you?” Elias asked.

Simon nodded, “Yes and she gave me a few tips on how to tackle things like this. Well, after she stopped screaming.”

Peter smiled and shook his head. “He keeps—“

“Use I statements, Peter,” Simon corrected.

“I feel angry because Elias keeps stealing my model ships in bottles and selling them to Salesa.” Peter said.

“You have no proof—“ Elias began, then shrugged. “Fine, I do… I see you have made many of them, more than I feel you’d notice and technically they are artefacts of the Lonely. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“Right Elias, your turn,” Simon said.

Elias bristled, then spoke, “While I know you serve the Lonely and I try to be mindful of that, I would, however, like some attention and perhaps affection, when you are not at sea.”

Peter looked away. “I think you should be happy when I’m in the same room as you, I feel physical pain when I spend too much time around people, you know this.”

“I do.” Elias sighed into the dregs of his cocktail. “Peter—I just miss you all the time.”

“This is promising!” Simon said, ignoring the glare from his old friend. 

“I miss you too, Elias, and I can take the pain if it means …being close to you.” Peter said.

“I act out because I want your attention, sometimes negative attention is better than none. I’m sorry Peter for putting index cards with spoilers in front of all your mystery novels.” Elias sighed.

“I stopped reading the index cards, so no matter.” Peter said.

Elias actually smiled at this, a real smile. “Oh? I admit I envy you, I can’t enjoy a good mystery anymore without the Beholding telling me how it ends.”

Simon kept eating, feeling smug, this was working. He felt a little bad about the fate of that couples therapist for a moment, the feeling passed quickly, it's not like she was important in the grand scheme of things. 

Elias slid his chair close to Peter, he had his hand on the table. Peter slipped his hand on top of Elias’s.

Simon watched as they did the crossword together and the pitcher of mimosas slowly emptied. Peter looked happy, well not happy, but as happy Peter could reasonably look.

The omelette chef had gone on break, so Simon excused himself. He had done a good deed, he’d fed, now to feed his patron.

**Author's Note:**

> Cocktail recipe!
> 
> Breakfast Martini (from Punch.com)  
> Ingredients
> 
> Serving: 1
> 
> 1 spoonful English orange marmalade  
> 1/2 ounce fresh lemon juice  
> 1 2/3 ounces gin  
> 1/2 ounce Curaçao or Cointreau
> 
> Garnish: orange peel  
> Directions
> 
> Stir the marmalade with the lemon juice at the bottom of a cocktail shaker until it dissolves.  
> Add the gin and Curaçao. Shake with ice. Fine strain into a chilled cocktail coupe.  
> Shred some orange peel on the top of the drink as a garnish.


End file.
